Valkyria Chronicles - Seriously, What the fuck?

Like I said, seriously, what the fuck?
This game was so difficult! I couldn't believe the gall on some people, telling me that this game was easy! One guy even told me, that it would take, at most, a week to beat the entire game! Listen, in a week's time, I'm not even sure if I was half-way through the game or not! You know why? Because, like Skies of Arcadia, this game has 5 main bosses, and I just got done defeating one of them in a battle...AND THEY GOT THE FUCK AWAY! Now look! If I'm supposed to defeat all 5 guys in a week and I just got done defeating ONE that GOT AWAY, then how THE FUCK are you supposed to expect me to defeat ALL FIVE?!

On the bright side, the game is very visually good. The acting is alright, the music is ok, but the graphics you get from the game are very splendid to look at. Maybe for a PS3, the graphics could have looked a bit better but it's still good. Now, that's all the good stuff I have to say about the game...

Once you get acquainted with the game, you'll get introduced to the main character, Will, and some busty female soldier, whom I've forgotten the name of already. Seriously...she's like 16 - 18 years old, and has DD size breasts! What the fuck! You then soon learn that everyone in the world is in war with each other, so now, it's your job to save it. Coincidentally, Will, whom you thought was just a commoner, has military, and leadership knowledge because he "learned it in school"...WHAT?! Learned it in school? So, in this fantasy world, all people go to military school now? Nobody can just choose to live a normal, peasant lifestyle, like the rest of all the other people you see?

Then you also meet Will's "half-sister" who somehow also has military and combat knowledge, and is the only one of your entire group that knows how to pilot a tank. Again, what the fuck. I guess nobody else knows how to pilot the only tank you have access to, so I guess it has to be her.

You're then instructed to lead a team that consists of commoners who also happens to have a knowledgeable military background.

The gameplay is very, frustratingly difficult to get used to, so much so, that I'm not even used to it yet, and I've been given a full week, before I had to return it to my rental store! The gameplay involves moving characters from your team around a map, given how many turns you have. With each turn you can move a unit a certain amount of distance, and can also use your weapon. Now granted, the people on your team are all commoners and they weren't properly trained in the military to use such weapons, so expect them, like snipers, to miss their target sometimes...more like, most of the time. You'll adjust the target of your sniper to aim for a guy's head, whom is literally a couple feet away, and you'll watch them miss, over and over again. Unless they are hundreds of feet away, will you not be given a small chance of actually hitting the target.

And that's another thing I have to press on about, is the fucking accuracy! Do not rely on your hit percentage, unless it's below 10%, to tell you whether you're going to hit your target or not. A tank (your only one) can miss a target, even if the hit percentage is ABOVE 80%! And that's with a fucking mortar shell too!

Also, while I'm at it, I've heard people go on and on to tell me that this other game, "Demon Souls" is apparently the "hardest game to come out for the PS3". Really? You see, I'd do a review of that game too, but the thing is, is that I actually like it, and it's not hard at all! Granted you're only given one chance at a time to upgrade your fucking weapons, but this game, Valkyria Chronicles, is clearly way harder.

You hear people say, "Demon Souls is hard because, you can go for 40min. in a level at a time, and when you die, you start from the beginning again!"

And I gotta say, "Nope! That's Valkyria Chronicles!"

You also hear people say, "Demon Souls is hard because, you get no help, upgrading weapons is tough, and enemies are really strong!"

And I gotta say, "Nope! That's Valkyria Chronicles!"

Seriously, do people know which game they are playing or what? I think everyone got these two games mixed up with one another. I've gone more than an hour on ONE FUCKING MISSION in Valkyria Chronicles, just to lose, and then start over - and let's not forget, that in this game, you're given a TURN LIMIT, so that when you go past it, you fucking lose! Most missions are only 30 turns anyways, so if you take more than that, YOU LOSE!

God! I can't even bare THINKING about beating this game! It's going to take me forever!

Oh, and by the way, Vyse, and Aika, from Skies of Arcadia are in the game too...not that it makes it any better.

My final say on this game is: Rent it...at most. Do not buy this game! Rent it, beat it, then return it, because I guarantee, for as long as it takes you to beat it, you're not going to want to beat it again.