Zune - Gargantuan Piece of Shit!

Look at this thing! Just, look at it! It looks like a piece of shit doesn't it? As a matter of fact, it looks like a black piece of shit, with a big round button on it! You know how I can tell that it's a piece of shit? Because, just by looking at it, you can just tell! It's one of those things that some people like to call "instinct", I'd like to say that I'm not for one with these supernatural things, but let me tell you that I have a great "instinct" that tells me that this Zune, is a gargantuan piece of shit!

Now, just saying that it is doesn't really justify that it is, indeed, a piece of shit. So that's why I bought one for myself a long time ago, like, a couple years ago. This is because I really wanted an ipod that held more than 8GB, because I have hundreds of Gigabytes of music on my computer, and I just wanted something that could hold even a small fraction of what I had.

So I went to a local HMV, that was selling Zune at a discounted price, like a promotional thing, I guess. So I naturally picked one up, an 80GB one too, which was like $100 cheaper than the ipod 80GB model.

So, I took it home, and I plugged it into my computer. First thing that happened was that I had to download some software, just like you do with an ipod, and itunes. So, naturally, I downloaded this 1GB program for this Zune. Let me just say that my internet wasn't as fast as it was back then as it is now, so I had to wait about an hour to download this motherfucking program. After I installed the program, I had to do several unnecessary things. I had to plug in my Zune, unplug it, restart it, plug it in again, then download the update for the program, only to find out, that this version of the program did not support my Zune! SO, I had to download yet another 1GB program from the damn website!

After that trial was finished, I finally got the opportunity to put songs on my Zune. Now, remember, I said that I had tons of music on my comptuer, so naturally it took a couple hours to import it onto the fucking program, then yet, another couple hours to import it onto my Zune! I had to wait overnight for this shit to be finished, else I'd be waiting 'till the early hours in the morning!

After the long night, I finally got a chance to play with my Zune. Songs that were in another language just appeared as boxes, and didn't play properly, sometimes the Zune would skip over songs that it didn't like, even though, if you went and selected the song itself, it would play just fine, and sometimes the Zune would just take a day off from playing you music, so it would occasionally freeze itself, whence you then had to restart the damn thing, which drained all of it's remaining battery life, so then you'd have to plug it into the computer for it to recharge again, over, and over, and over.

Ad infinitum and there you got it! A Zune in it's finest detail, right there!

Let's not even get started on the untranslated songs either. I TRIED, oh, did I TRY to install a language pack for Japanese and Chinese characters on to my Zune, but that just ended up corrupting the Zune, which led me to restart it again.

Let's also mention that the restarting process took about 20 - 30min. of my time, each time as well.

I mean, yeah, it could play any type of movie file and it had radio transmission, but that didn't stop it from sucking a lot! Sometimes, it would play a movie, and it would just freeze! I could be showing my friends a picture I put on my Zune, and it would freeze! I'd be listening to the fucking radio, and it would freeze! FUCK!!!

Nobody has any idea how many fucking times I had to restart my Zune, wait for it to restart, then plug it in back to my computer for it to recharge! Sometimes, I had to wait a full day again before I could start listening to music!

I traded in my broken Zune once for a new one, but even then, then new one didn't work.

A lot of people on forums were saying how, "pirated songs will corrupt a Zune", and, "only store bought songs from the Zune store will work". I would've believed this, but the fact remained that my songs WERE working, for at least a couple days too, before it glitched out on me! A lot of people were recommending to upgrade to the latest Zune program, which I had, to the latest Zune firmware, which I had, and then finally recommending to send it back to Microsoft, which would've cost me money to send, then wait a month for it to come back!

I wanted to listen to my songs dammit, I'm not going to wait a full month before I could start listening to my songs again...

Oh, wait...there's still my 8GB ipod, I thought to myself. Oh, how I used to rely on that, oh, how it never let me down although sometimes it would skip songs too, but it was only rarely! So...I had to go back to my 8GB ipod Nano, until I saved up enough money to get myself an 80GB ipod.

And I've had it ever since.